Hello everyone out there in Internet land. I have been working on my school work which is getting pretty tough. In my college composition class we are learning to write a research paper in steps. I have not done it this way before and has been quite interesting to say the least. The "paramedic method" makes a lot of sense and wish I would have known about this method along time ago. I usually watch out for a lot of those verbs and prepositions but sometimes I get lazy and just want to get my paper done or I start to panic and hand my paper in whether it is what I want or not. Sometimes I just run out of time no matter how well I adjust my schedule. I am what some people call me, a perfectionist. If I find that I am not doing so well with a task, I feel like a failure and give up. Take for example, my paper on Bio-Identical hormone replacement therapy, know I could have done much better on my rough draft, I have written papers many times, just not research papers. I do have a lot more information I want to add to my paper and I will. I thought we were supposed to do a real simple draft, I think mine was just too simple. My homework i catching up with me, I had better get to it!

Today was supposed to be a day of excitement and joy, it sure didn't turn out that way t say the least. Let me explain; I am doing a research paper on Bio-Identical Hormone Replacement Therapy, I have been so excited about finding this because of 20 years of menopause and its symptoms. I thought I had found a doctor that was familiar with this kind of hormone therapy and my prayers were going to be answered. My appointment was for this morning. Then I got all registered and payed. I was sent in for the usual, vitals, weight, history, etc. only to find out they were not taking new patients and the other doctor did not accept our insurance yet. Also they said they misunderstood me ad really did not know anyting about Bio-Identical Hormones, gave me my money back and sent me on my way. I have been very confused ever since not to mention very disappointed.

Midnight Thoughts

I sit outside a lot at night and reflect on the many conversations of the day or the past week. I think about school assignments and projects, if anyone else in my classes are up doing their school work. I think about my children, my 3 young men. Two of them serving in Iraq together working as gunner and driver, and the early morning I got the call from the youngest of the two (age 20 at the time), telling me his brother was hit (age 24 at the time). Everything seemed to happen so fast, being rushed to W.R.M.C. and living there with my son for a year. The middle child making it home safe but almost losing him on mother's day the same year from a head on collision. Almost losing the older one once again from a near fatal motorcycle accident that left him with a severe brain injury on July 4th of 2007. My mom passing away mother's day weekend of 2007. Yet, this does not even compare to so many that have endured much more than I. That leaves me with the morning sunrise thoughts of thanks and prayers for the people that have so much less and are filled with heartache.

Frustration

Right now m so frustrated because I am falling behind in my studies. It is having a snowball affect and my head is swimming. Everytime I would try to post something or turn my work in, the internet was down everywhere I went. It was like, this is not meant to be, but why? I have written this post 3 times and everytime I would try to post it the internet was down. They say it is because of the heat and the storms we have been having, today it hit over 100 and now it is storming again, I hope I can get this posted. This is not what I was going to write but it will have to do for now.

Time

I am just going to write what is on my mind tonight because my mind is a whirlwind right now.

Time is something that there is never enough of, I wish I had a magic button to be able to just stop time when I need to or at least slow it down. As the years pass by, time seems to go by faster and faster yet it always stays the same. Each year more things are added to a list of needs and wants, the thing is, what is more important to you in your life at the time? Right now for me, time is important, pretty ironic huh?! I have so much going on in my life right now and I haven't left my house or job (which is right next door) in over a week. We are hosting my husbands family reunion this year and everyone will be here on Friday. All I can think about is I just do not have the time for this right now!